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You Haven't Missed Much

by thanks for coming

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1.
it’s strange being on the inside of the outside, my body is in circles it’s fine, i see outside the fishbowl it’s mine, i don’t mind, it’s not like i can’t see the rest they’re just like what i see they’re inside my head it’s everything to me we change and things always seem to get untied, i trip over my feet again it’s fine, i’ll say something else to them tonight, i don’t mind, it’s not like i can walk away from everything i see it’s inside my head it’s everything to me i can change my thoughts but i can’t change what they mean so i pretend that i forgot and keep staring out blankly
2.
it’s so goddamn easy to lose touch i’ve been around but i haven’t been around that much do you think i’m losing it do you think about me at all if you call i’d answer but you never call and i don’t answer too busy thinking about natural disasters and i don’t answer too busy watching everything shatter i miss talking to you or anybody honestly i take the train just to watch strangers be lonely do you think i’m losing it do you think about me at all if you wanted to and i wanted to we could talk but i don’t answer too busy thinking about crumbling plaster and i don’t answer too busy watching time turn faster and i don’t answer too busy waiting for everyone to scatter and i don’t answer too busy looking for what comes after it’s so goddamn easy to lose touch sorry i haven’t been around it’s always just too much
3.
My Name 03:06
call me when you're frustrated instead of my name date me just for july one whole year of pouring rain i can't stand to lose it use me baby or i'm useless i'm so tired of feeling stupid teach me something i'm so clueless i want to love until i’m cut in half do you want me back? you wanted me when you were feeling sad i want to love until i’m cut in half do you hate me now? you wanted me when you were feeling down call me when you’re hung up i can’t help but i can hurt miss me when it’s august but you promised someone else i can’t stand to lose it use me baby or i'm useless just another loser use me baby you’re a user i want to love until i’m cut in half do you want me back? you wanted me when you were feeling sad i want to love until i’m cut in half do you hate me now? you wanted me when you were feeling down i can't stand to lose it use me baby or i'm useless i can't stand to lose it use me baby or i'm useless i want to love until i’m cut in half do you want me back? you wanted me when you were feeling sad i want to love until i’m cut in half do you hate me now? you wanted me when you were feeling down i want to love until i’m cut in half do you want me back? you wanted me when you were feeling sad i want to love until i’m cut in half do you hate me now? you wanted me when you were feeling down i can't stand to lose it use me baby or i'm useless i can't stand to lose it use me baby or i'm useless
4.
Plagiarizer 02:03
you could talk my heart into your hand but you could never make me a better man reconcile i’ll never be an upright citizen i’m slanted fuck i said this in another worse ballad i need hobbies i need friends i need to read their messages forgive me for all that i’ve been i’ve been using you like you’ve been using me forget me for saying all the stupid things life is what someone else has already sang reconcile i’ll never sing with any better pitch i’m a bitch fuck i’ve been swearing like a sailor since a kid i need healthcare i need friends i need to pay my therapist forgive me for all that i’ve sinned i’ve been using you like you’ve been using me forget me for saying all the stupid things life is what someone else has already sang you could talk my heart into your hand but you could never make me a better man and you could never make a better man no you could never love me enough to dance
5.
you’ll go i know you’ll go i know the trees are too green and it’s too warm for a moment that’s supposedly dying the sea is too deep and it’s too cold for something that i’ll probably die in the world is too big for us to pretend that this was merely coincidence but i’m too afraid to say anything that could possibly jeopardize it the trains are so loud when they make a break to get out of this city the days are so round and i never know when exactly they’re ending i don’t want to be the one to say i told you so so i won’t be the one to say i told you so you’ll go i know the rain is too wet and it’s too long waiting between broken showers the things have been said but they’re too small to make me less of a coward the city’s too busy for us to sit easy where minutes meet hours and i’m too appalled to say what i saw when i got to the top of the tower the smoke hit our lungs when we smiled at the floor late in the morning the joke was on us and all we could see was the distortion blurring i don’t want to be the one to say i told you so so i won’t be the one to say i told you so you’ll go i know you’ll go i know i don’t want to be the one to say i told you so so i won't be the one to say i told you so i don’t want to be the one to say i told you so so i won’t be the one to say i told you so
6.
crystal, i’m sorry i ruined you that joke isn’t funny anymore you spoke to me about god i’m just glad she remembered my name you never notice me i want to tell you things are okay to the girl that made me laugh, i hope you find the one i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you i don’t ever see myself breaking up with you (is anybody real anymore)
7.
i left the party early i didn’t even go home my keys were in my pockets all i did was run the streets were undefeated another winning season my keys were in my pockets a new day had begun the air outside was humid i wondered how to breathe my keys were in my pockets the past was almost done i thought about calling but couldn’t find the number my keys were in my pockets how do you know someone i left the party early i didn’t even go home my keys were in my pockets all i did was run i went to your apartment you didn’t even live there my keys were in my pockets i noticed the world spun
8.
Panic 02:56
you were perfect i destroyed it you were perfect i destroyed it don’t you hate me now don’t you hate me now you were perfect i destroyed it january i’m no addict is it smoke or clouds don’t you hate me now i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me i had i had i had a dream you were in love in love with me i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me i woke up in a panic ahh january literary you were perfect i’m twenty-three don’t you hate me now please just scream and shout i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me i had i had i had a dream you were in love in love with me i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me and i woke up in a panic ahh i woke up in a panic ahh i woke up in a panic ahh i went back to sleep you were perfect i destroyed it you were perfect i destroyed it don’t you hate me now don’t you hate me now january you were perfect
9.
do you wanna go to bed do you wanna go to bed do you wanna go to sleep do you wanna watch me dream do you wanna watch me dream like i’m mtv do you wanna make a joke do you wanna make a joke do you wanna be real fuckin mean do you wanna fall in love do you wanna fall in love like two real stupid teens and i know you will say yes and try to get me undressed but i think you’re kind of cool but i’d rather just be friends with you do you wanna touch my hair do you wanna touch my hair do you wanna touch everything do you wanna drive me home do you wanna drive me home after we have done nothing do you wanna text her drunk do you wanna text her drunk and pretend like it’s me do you want another drink do you want another drink at some lame adult party and i know you will say yes and try to get me undressed but i think you’re kind of cool but i’d rather just be friends with you
10.
Universe 01:52
i’ll believe you when you tell me it's just a simulation binary code of some past civilization but your computer parts found my computer heart i won’t believe you when you tell me we’re not real i’ll believe you when you tell me this is all a mistake an inevitable result of gravity and space but when we sleep i know it’s where i’m supposed to be i won’t believe you when you tell me we’re not real
11.
i’d give anything to go back to october i’d tell myself to run out of the hospital you are not sick, you’re electric, you can’t stay here he is running out of bottles to drown himself in i’d give anything to go right to november i’d run out of this deathly place into his arms you are not sick, you’re electric, you can’t stay here he is running out of tops to spin i’d give anything to be in another body one that i can trust and won’t bleed you are not sick, you’re electric, you’re a liar alone in your room on a friday night i’d give anything to be on another planet one that i can actually breathe in the air you are not sick, you’re electric, you’re a liar not alone in his room on a friday night
12.
woke up in the late afternoon by the time i went outside i didn’t have a shadow i am here today gone tomorrow you are the same way even if i don’t believe it sat down in my thoughts and didn’t move forgot i had half a mind telling me it’s time to go i am here today gone tomorrow you are the same way even if i don’t believe it tell me what do you believe in when the sky is getting darker and the sun has left for good and the planets have stopped spinning and nothing you say is understood i am here today gone tomorrow you are the same way even if you don’t believe it tell me what do you believe in cuz i believe in you
13.
a letter to the editor i think you’ve read my work before because i wrote it all for you i said i wrote it all for you by now and it’s only been a couple hours or several if that’s how you count from the first time i watched you go for the last time i died when i watched you walk away the whole world ended and nothing changed but look i’m good, i know you are too i said i wrote it all for you a letter to the editor you’ll never guess what i wished for you’ll never guess, you’ll probably kill me but i’ll understand, completely really if you have to see me go i know i’m hard to get a hold of cuz i’ve been held for far too long but not long enough for the two of us but what i said is what i meant i don’t believe things like this can end i could be fine but i don’t want to be i’d rather feel this way eternally a letter to the editor i don’t know what i’m looking for but i wrote it all for you, it turns out i never even knew until now
14.
i don’t wanna be your coffin i just wanna see Niagara Falls there’s nails in the walls nails in the walls word on the street is you’ve been walkin’ i don’t wanna be your coffin you’d look good in Tennessee stare straight at me stare straight at me word on the street is total silence wanna get sentimental, saccharine, and detrimental? oh yeah i can get nostalgic, oh yeah baby i can get sick i don’t wanna be your coffin or on a train through Battle Creek your voice makes me weak you make me weak word on the street is you’ve been talkin’ i don’t wanna be your coffin just want a place on Sunset Strip can you take me with can you take me with word on the street is the weather’s boring wanna get sentimental, saccharine, and detrimental? oh yeah i can get nostalgic, oh yeah baby i can get sick oh yeah i can get nostalgic, oh yeah it’s almost too quick i don’t want to be your coffin i just want to be your best friend i don’t want to be your coffin i just want to be your best friend

about

thank you to everyone who drew me from memory.

thank you to everyone who has collaborated with me over the years
especially Nate, Mike, and Charlie.

thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years especially
Beauty Fool Records, my parents, my friends, and the people who have
been listening.

thank you to Danger Collective for this right here and that to come.

credits

released December 16, 2022

“You Haven’t Missed Much” by thanks for coming
Written and performed by Rachel Brown

Other arrangements and performances by Nate Amos, Charlie Dore-Young, Mike Kolb, Lily Konigsberg, and Linda Sherman

Mastered by Nate Amos

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thanks for coming Brooklyn, New York

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