1. |
trigger warning
03:53
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i cut myself to pieces
i cut myself to pieces to feel alive
how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant when the waves crash down
how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant when the tide goes out
how come i feel vacant won’t you meet me in the basement someday i’m getting out of this old town
won’t you meet me in the basement buy a ticket at the station how come i feel vacant despite who’s around
i killed myself to make it here on time
i cut myself to pieces to feel alive
every neighbor has a gun i’m lucky i didn’t pull the trigger seventeen the world was bigger now i find i’m growing bitter
every neighbor has someone i’m lucky my feet hit the ground the bruises on my neck turned brown and i’d take it all back right now
how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant when the waves crash down
how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant when the tide goes out
how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant when the waves crash down
won’t you meet at the station i’m running out of patience how come i feel vacant how come i feel vacant
i cut myself to pieces
i killed myself to make it
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2. |
Honey
04:14
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oh i’ve got you honey
and i didn’t stay
and i couldn’t get away
i didn’t stay
no i couldn’t get away
i didn’t stay
no i couldn’t the fuck away
and i didn’t stay
i couldn’t get away
i never asked for you
you just showed right up
i never asked for you
i’m dumb but i’m not enough
i never asked for you
i didn’t want to fall in love
i never asked for you
i just asked for too much
but i wanted to
yeah i wanted you
i wanted to
i wanted you
yeah i wanted to
no i wanted you
i didn’t wanna go go go
i didn’t wanna go go go
i just wanna know know
i just wanna know know
i pinky promise that you won’t be my last kiss and
but i don’t got money
do you want to know my secrets
i want to stay
so what if i’m heartbroken
so what if i’m soft-spoken
so what if you’re a free ride
i’d lie and say i was jokin
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3. |
Free Willy
02:50
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why would we wince when we wish well
hell heaven has high hopes hallowed
all anyone answers are allegories
let light live let light languish
everyone enters endlessly embellished
silence sulks slightly centered somewhere
i ill advise the king
so you buy a diamond ring
and we can take our time to talk a little slower
but you’re all cut up in nets
i spent my breath on cigarettes
and things like this have a tendency to blow up
so tell me that you love me
tell me you’ve been thinking of me
tell me i don’t have to charge the gates alone
so tell me that the city’s changing
tell me without conversation
tell me i’m not fucking crazy and that you know
why would we wince when we wish well
hell heaven has high hopes hallowed
all anyone answers are allegories
let light live let light languish
everyone enters endlessly embellished
silence sulks slightly centered somewhere
i died on one of those days
i think it started with the letter "t" or maybe "s"
but it could always be a monday
have you ever sat in the rain waiting for the results of a test?
it sounds a lot more romantic as a question
they shoved the q-tip so far up my nose i saw god
it was that or it was a tear silently forming in my eye in front of a stranger
i gave my green umbrella to a very tall girl who once lost $500 to a drug dealer named psycho
it was the one i found outside of the apartment of the only boy i'd ever marry
he doesn't believe in marriage and he no longer answers my calls
a few weeks ago i fell in love with a woman for the first time in my life but she is already in love with another woman
it's the same kind of irony alanis morisette sings about
this is the second time today this exact reference has come up
the tall girl told me she had given her ex back their umbrella earlier that morning as we were standing in the rain
i would do anything for love
i would do anything for love
i would do anything for love
even stay alive
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4. |
Panic
02:58
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you were perfect i destroyed it
you were perfect i destroyed it
don’t you hate me now
don’t you hate me now
you were perfect i destroyed it
january i’m no addict
is it smoke or clouds
don’t you hate me now
i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me
i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me
i had i had i had a dream you were in love in love with me
i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me
i woke up in a panic ahh
january literary
you were perfect i’m twenty-three
don’t you hate me now
please just scream and shout
i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me
i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me
i had i had i had a dream you were in love in love with me
i had i had i had a dream you were you were in love with me
and i woke up in a panic ahh
i woke up in a panic ahh
i woke up in a panic ahh
i went back to sleep
you were perfect i destroyed it
you were perfect i destroyed it
don’t you hate me now
don’t you hate me now
january you were perfect
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5. |
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i'm in waste management
i take care of myself
i'm “indie” all the way through
i don't need you, i don't need you
men have died for time and change
i don't want to bear my weapons
but i'm here the morning after too
i might kill you, i might kill you
who cares if i'm counting airplanes
who cares if i'm chasing their paths
who cares if i'm videotaping
who cares that they're not flying back
if only you could see me cry
but you either moved or you died
i told everyone that i know
you were really something special
i'm in line to see my therapist
to chat about the big game last night
hands on the clock at a quarter to two
i can't save you, i can't save you
so don't trust me as far as you could throw me
you couldn't get close enough to get a grip
it's fine if you wanna call me cold in the morning
you couldn't tell a heartbeat from a skip
if only you could see me there
across from the place that we share
i tell everyone when i’m leaving
at least you gave me a greeting
if only you could see me now
but you're dead or you don't come around
i told everyone that i knew
all about, oh, all about you
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6. |
Zero
03:38
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can’t deny a divide
amplified side by side
modified to collide
should have let pluto decide
didn’t like the design
realized it’s implied
set aside the advice
should have done something right
but i was sitting in a pitch black room
and i thought how nice it is to be consumed
identify empty eyes
preoccupied with the time
a demise set aside
could have had something nice
could have found a compromise
could have been simplified
but i was sitting in a pitch black room
and i thought how nice it is to be consumed
and i was floating in a cold dark place
and i thought how nice it is in outer space
do you miss it
an entire planet
completely vanished
a chance we won’t get again
and i am sitting in a pitch black room
and i’m thinking how nice it is to be consumed
how nice it is to be confused
how nice to is to conclude
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7. |
Heaven is a Pill
02:03
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heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is being born and taking on a name
heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is just a line that isn’t worth the wait
heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is no response when they said they’re on the way
heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is that i know that’s it’s too addicting
heaven is a pill
i haven’t got my fill
and one day it will
kill me
heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is holding on until it turns to hate
heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is watching time tick until it’s yesterday
heaven is a pill that takes away the pain
and hell is giving up while you’re still trying to explain
heaven is a pill that takes a way the pain
and hell is running out before it goes away
it's a kick yeah it's a habit
i'm an addict call it talent
place a bet and run a racket
it's a kick yeah it's a habit
wrecking havoc these things happen
i'm an addict it takes practice
it's a kick yeah it's a habit
it's a kick yeah it's a habit
heaven is a pill
i haven’t got my fill
and one day it will
kill me
heaven is a pill
i haven’t got my fill
and one day it will
kill me
heaven is a pill
it's a kick yeah it's a habit
i'm an addict call it talent
place a bet and run a racket
it's a kick yeah it's a habit
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8. |
Art of Failure
04:25
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i could never be your pet
i’ve got too much experience
but let me crawl inside your cage
i’m learning how to run
i could never be your pet
but i could be yours
you can count the colors
i found out i was just like everybody
so i gave my life back
cuz i couldn’t have what they have
i didn’t know my appetite
i couldn’t do a damn thing right
like stretching or spending a night
i couldn’t even multiply
let alone subtract and divide
but at the very least i’m always fine
do ya really dig the distance?
i bet you really dig the distance
yeah i really dig the distance
when the atoms collided i finally saw the art of it all
nothing can hurt like a feeling
and i didn’t act like i knew what i was talking about until i got home
and no one knows the things that i tell myself when i’m alone
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9. |
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in the glow of all the edges of the sun that i can just make out through the trees
i couldn’t see beyond the years of war lined up and down the streets
way back east heading west i’ve always liked you the best
i’ve got the rest of my life to beg
or to eat myself from the inside out
cuz isn’t that what this whole thing is all about
you don’t know what i don’t know
i don’t know what you don’t
please don’t go oh please don’t go
there you go on your own
tell me who put all the angles here into the room what a godsend they’ve become
since i was young i’ll never know a world without them standing strong
it’s been too long in this old house now everyone in love has doubts
i’ve got the rest off my life to beg
or to eat myself from the inside out
cuz isn’t that what this whole thing is about
i’ve got the rest of my life to beg
you don’t know what i don’t know
i don’t know what you don’t
please don’t go oh please don’t go
there you go on your own again
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10. |
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did you get my email?
i was just asking why i'm this way and not another way
anways i hope you're good
i don't think i don't think i don't think i'm thinking right
if i’m not there who is going to find out that the two ships have passed in the night
oh the lighthouse doesn’t shine like it used to
i heard they tore it down to make room for an amusement park
where airplanes take you from one mall to another
it costs a lifetime and a half just to recover
what good is a piece of mind when i am losing mine?
if i’m not there who is going to ask the captain what he has hidden in his pockets?
my bet is on a losing lottery ticket
and three buttons that belong to his coat
the one that he forgot at home
his wife irons it every single day wondering when he’ll return
she should know by now that the man belongs to sea
she’ll see but by it’ll be too late to leave
anyways anyways ANYWAYS
so how are you?
did i ask you that that yet?
if i’m not there who is going to point out that all of the water is sinking underneath of itself
it’s screaming for help and somebody oughta jump in but i never really learned to swim so it can’t be me don’t you believe i’ve said it so many times can’t we agree that i would most certainly die
if i’m not there who is going to play the violin
as the ship is going down and everybody else is jumping in
who’s going to sing the song? who’s going to call it out?
that we lived for the weekend when we were always meant to drown
if i'm not there
if i'm not there
if i'm not there then where else could i be?
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11. |
Behind the Wheel
03:53
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this is the closest i’ve come to
dying but i’m still in my bedroom
i saw it going down down down
i thought nothing could save me now now now
in that moment it was over
the weight of the world slipped off my shoulders
i smiled cuz there’s no getting older
wrong turn
i was so fucking burned out
when i learned
i was just dreaming about
control
or maybe the lack there of
although in the morning i wake up
jesus please just take the wheel
it’s in my hands but it’s all too real
the car was quiet quiet quiet
maybe they felt death was private
no one said a goddamn thing
and i was too caught up to think
that this was my mind on the brink of
despair
i’ve been so fucking bummed out that
i swear
all the voices in my head sound
just like
everyone i seem to know
all night
but it’s better than being alone
good god
i can’t take another night
cannot
i can’t take another night
or thought
i can’t be the one to drive
good god
i swore i was about to die
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12. |
p. 14
04:41
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love nothing it not the gushing a desire i be the of if did admit and the that sleeping before has the to perhaps is the beautiful of nature it such gods fashioned and neither nor have complained it women complex not so men be of complexity cannot do understand for rest give much about feel that quite to them life even extricate from where would quite one deal them in own is through feelings that may them is one to and is love
a singular process, i see it all it all
who made who made who made who made who made who made
to organize to maximize to summarize to paralyze to eulogize to finalize another sunset to sunrise
to paralyze to finalize to maximize to eulogize to organize to summarize another sunset to sunrise
to summarize to eulogize to paralyze to maximize to finalize to organize another sunset to sunrise
to eulogize to organize to finalize to summarize to maximize to paralyze another sunset to sunrise
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